Saturday 31 March 2012

stranger than fiction




that day ,
i felt something ..
something that dint just pass on , something that dint feel like it was a fleeting glimpse , a glance , a passing thought

it felt nice
it felt comforting ..
so i felt and kept on enjoying what i felt

and i'm still feeling it today

i felt warm and cosy and calm ..
i was not harrowed or exasperated or making excuses to myself or for anything else
i wasnt feeling any inclination to preoccupy myself with worries and the need to be ready for anything

i just couldnt stop thinking about the warmth

this strange warmth , i suppose the sort of a warmth that madmen rave about
warmth which i had almost forgotten existed , as if that was even possible
warmth that felt healing and comforting
not the heat that burnt , that angered , that hurt

everything seems to be enveloped by this new idea , this new meaning , this new perspective
this newness
it is negating the negativity by nonsensical proportions .. those that seemed to exist wat seems like a decade ago and felt like would stay forever ..
those seem so menial and ridiculous now ..

just like that .. just like that , when i was not trying to find

no - i have not found God
no - i have not encountered a greater ambition all of a sudden

it has nothing to do with the mangoes


what this is doing is that its leading me to new beliefs
believe that although life is stranger than fiction , fiction is a stranger to life ..
thinking it could be otherwise seems ridiculous
there is a method to the madness , there has to be a cosmic clockwork that is binding it all in harmony

and i'm feeling ecstatic about this
this , which is stranger than fiction



Friday 4 November 2011

Metallica 30 October 2011 Bangalore


I woke up on the 30th of October with an indescribable rush.
The emotions were all rolling inside of me.
I was happy.
I was ecstatic.
I was sad that my brother dint come along.After all it was he who introduced me to this band,that I was about to see in a few odd hours.
As much as I repeated it to myself,I couldn’t believe,I was about to see MetallicA – Live.
Thats one of my top three bands ever – MetallicA,Pink Floyd and Black Sabbath.

I was a skanky preteen,in the 7th standard of school,when I heard them first.
I was hoping my bro would leave behind some Michael learns to Rock or Boyzone cassette behind for me,I knew he had a few English music cassettes.What else could they be but boybands or pop ?
Haah..If only I knew what was in store for me.
He did leave me some music,alright,but it was Pink Floyd PULSE,Ozzy The Ozzman Cometh and MetallicA ReLoad.
Boy,do i love him even more for forgetting them J
I heard ‘Fuel’ and ‘The Unforgiven II’ and ‘The Memory Remains’ and  I was hooked and thus began my love with ‘tallicA.
Thereafter,like any Metallica Fanboy anywhere else,i dug their whole back catalogue and have been with them through it all,including St.Anger.Just like they have been there for me whenever i felt down,whenever I wanted to rock out.And that should explain how much of a big ‘tallicA fanboy I am,and how much i worship them.
This should give a basic idea of how big this day was for me. \m/

Back to the present,I woke up and started panicking and made some bad decisions.
I got high,chose not to take any recording instruments and started for the venue.

12.00 Noon

I reached the venue.All the 10 kms i rode that rick,everywhere i could see fellow ‘tallicans in tshirts and equally pumped up facies.At the venue there was a huge huge huge bunch of them outside on the road.Some smoking the hell out,some just chilling out,some waiting for their pals to show up,and some just documenting every damn bit of detail that they could.I paid the fare and rushed inside and immediately joined the mob waiting to be the first to be shown inside once the gates opened.I sighed a relief.I was there.I was inside the venue.I decided to go inside since my friends were still smoking some shit and wanted me to wait ,balls i said.I was goin for the kill,going sober and I had to be as close to the stage as I could (I know I was already high..i just dint want to further inebriate myself to the point of having it all pass in a blur,and there was some nastiness with them I wanted to get away from).

Though the wait was excruciating,there were many memorable incidents happening out there and this was only the beginning.
People all around were pretty psyched up and cheery.Any sudden movement caused chantings,fist pumping and screaming.
And ofcourse there were the obligatory “Vande Mataram/Bharat Mata Ki Jai” chants.

The first such incident was a pretty aged aunty,rather dadi coming along in the queue.She seems VIP ‘cos some security came and escorted her inside.As expected ppl gave her a massive chant of “Aunty Aunty” and she waved back with the most adorable smile.I would see her next inside the arena,head banging to Inner Sanctum.Madam,I bow down.

Another one was when a police van wanted to pass our mob and go to the other side through the gates.That meant the van had to part the crowd in two .It must’ve been easier for Moses to part the seas.They eventually won and we did give way after a while,and this turned out to be a boon for me,since some one pushed me to a part which was in the end allowed earlier inside the grounds,than where i previously was J Thanks Angel,whoever you were.Hmmm,so back to the van.The van caused a lot of pushing and fumbling and people got pissed off.”Fuck You” “BC MC” was happening full-on.Suddenly one exasperated buffoon threw a bottle on the van and then a miracle happened.The whole mob turned to that person and booed him off. ”We are makin this gig happen,at all costs.Please be civil.” That was a pretty *tears of joy * moment.

This chick in front of me passed me some of her booze,since she and her guy were pretty sloshed.I gulped it down with intense eagerness and trust me never have I felt the power of one big swig of booze like this one before.I could feel the buzz forming inside of me.So to that Marathi couple,Thank you for the potent mixture,I remain grateful.And the rain sure helped relieve the humidity and sweat.Banagalore rocks.

There were these shaadi-band types loud speakers on trees along the path to the main gate.They  started blaring and some policeman started instructing people and we were on our way in. “Dont run” “Dont scream” “Dont lose control” “Make a single line” ..LMAO..

And i crossed the first hurdle amidst this hilarity and let out a shout of momentous victory only to get disheartened to see a long long long long-ass queue again,to move ahead into the actual arena.Boy this was gonna be a long wait !!
But it was much relaxed here.The “massage mode Virar train” was replaced by a single queue with pretty much calm all around.Ppl were havin 50 Rs waters,30 Rs cucumber slices and speshyul Metallica Panipuris and Bhels :p..And smokes..And more importantly sharing stories of how fu*kin intensely epic this gig was gonna be.

I noticed an African American female in the queue next to mine.I’m not a RACIST,i’m not judgemental,but this was something !! She was,lets say,very very healthy in terms of her built.She had brown curled hair with golden streaks.And she was wearin black/silver  tights with pink (yes bright pink,glittering ) butterfly wings.Did she forget where the Lady Gaga performance was ? EPIC EPIC EPIC madam.Thank you too.

This is where i got to know that there was this another band called Biffy Clyro which was gonna perform as well !! How insane of me to not know this yet ! Biffy Clyro,though i hadn’t heard of them much,was such good news.All i knew was they were a pretty wild band !!
The line was moving faster than expected and before i could go for a leak i was almost near the entrance and some band had started playing.I made the second decision that day which i would regret and chose not to pee but stand in line and get in early.I hid some fags in wallet,threw the water bottle,got through the security check and rued on not getting a camera when i saw how easily a few people had got it inside.Once in,i made a mad sprint to the stage area,not letting the monstrous size of the stage or the ground distract me.And i reached the place where i would be camped in for the next 7 hours.
It was 4 pm and Inner Sanctum was playing.

I was in.I was right in front of the stage,fifteen feet away and watching this Indian band play... Wish i could have captured the grin on my face back then J
I dunno what kinda band they were,sounded much like a Lamb of God clone,metalcore or something,but it was better than the other band.So  here I’m making strategys to move closer to the barricades when I see the people next to me were lightin not one but two fatass Js !! How the fuck did they manage to do that !! I thank them for doing so and  givin me some generous puffs J as well.Well here we were.

Inner Sanctum finished their set and out came the human waste,that is Nikhil Chinappa,to announce some band that won on some show of theirs and they were gonna be the second opening act.He tried makin the crowd respond to his lame chants and requests.He got a generous reply of  “fuck yous” “BCMC” and boos.So much that he was nowhere to be seen again.His  poor band got booed too.Yeah baby.We were here to watch Metallica and we were gonna bring the house down.Amidst all this chaos this band went off the stage and Biffy Clyro equipment started being set up.Woo HOOO. Now things were rolling J

Amidst this chaos….out of nowhere comes a Metallica crew member and asks the crowd to be disciplined and in control and remember why we were here and what not !! He did get the biggest response of his life maybe when he said Metallica wanted to perform in Bangalore more than how we wanted them to perform.Saala,knew how to play with our hearts..The fatherly sermon ended with his motto of the day – Safety First.And this was gonna be the poor guys falldown of the day.Soon the fedup crowd drowned all of his instructions in a chorus of Safety First Safety First J What an epic trolling !!

Till the equipment was set,people started chanting all sortsa things just to kill time.One i will remember in particular.Some wiseguy started a chant of “Megadeth Megadeth”.Was he for real ? No one was gonna ruin my Metallica gig with this blasphemy.So i shouted back “ Sucks” every time they paused after chanting “ Megadeth”.And the happy part was,i prevailed.The sucks chants were so louder that theirs faded.HAHAHAHAHA      |m||m|

So Biffy Clyro equipment is all set and now anytime they would play and and and...It friggin rains !! Heavy Duty rains..So the roadies run out and cover all the wires and what not and again delay for some 15 mins..Boy this was tough..The grounds were filling up with people faster than earlier now and it seemed i was back in the “massage mode virar train” and it was gonna be so now till the end of the gig.I should have peed.

I was thinkin of that and suddenly heard a deafening roar.I looked up and started cheering as i saw Biffy Clyro run in on the stage and hit the first notes.These people !! Wow..It was twilight.They were Hippies..Long hair,long unkempt beards..no shirts..torn jeans and a heavy as brick sound on the guitars !! They started pounding their eclectic alternative rock and boy was it groovy !! To top it, the rain started getting heavier.The lights were playing magnificient colours on the stage,and this was enough to get the crowd moving.As much inappropriate as it was,some people were headbanging,many were jumping around and many were ‘aye-ayeing” around and almost all the fists were up in the air.You could touch the metal in the air,baby..Yup..Kickass

”Biffy Biffy Biffy”

One song turned into two,then three,four,five,it was almost an hour of asskicking music from Biffy Clyro but now the crowd was getting a teeny weeny bit impatient.How long were Biffy gonna play ? It reached a peak and people started,very loudly,shouting “We want MetallicA..We want MetallicA’’ and another of those *tears of joy* moments happened.The lead singer paused,acted like he was straining to hear and then as if he finally got it.He told the crowd “yea,i know how pumped up we all are for Metallica.19 years ago i was where you are and seeing them made me pick up and learn the guitar”..Trust me this got the wildest imaginable roar from the still energetic crowd and Biffy Clyro finished their setlist amidst genuine crowd appreciation.

However the screams when they were going off the stage was cos that meant “METALLICA ARE GONNA BE UP NEXT” ..This next hour or so was the worst wait of my life ever..I was so nervous,i almost hit this chick behind me (in my mind,ofcourse) cos she was constantly using my back for support..Bad timing dear..

The Metallica roadies started setting things up.

It was so epic to have “Run to the hills” and “Crazy Train” and  “It’s a long way to the top” playing on the speakers.Everyone started singing them and went todally crazy !! This was a pure pure pure purist crowd that knew their \metal/..

The “Safety First” guy came back for a few more times to help the security people cross the barricades or something and he was greeted with the chants.The interesting thing was that though the crowd was very big,people knew the importance of being civil,especially after the Delhi fiasco.The general consensus was that we had to show Metallica that India was not all rogues and mobs,it was just a buncha dimwit people and the spineless organisers that disrupted the Delhi gig.We had to show them that India was gonna be the best crowd they have played to in a while and they had to be so impressed that they would return back.
And trust me,the Bangalore crowd was very very frikkin cool,in all ways.

The minutes turned to half an hour,then 45 mins,then an hour..People now were tired of waiting,were excited and everytime the song on the speaker ended,we would anticipate the stage lights to go off and the gig to begin.The false alarm happened most probably thrice and then finally the lights went off.

8:15 PM

“THE ECSTASY OF GOLD”

The lights went out and the classic Metallica entrance theme blared out of the speakers.The screen flickered and showed Clint Eastwood.We knew.Everyone knew what this meant.And we showed it with all our might.Everyone was either screaming in disbelief that within seconds Metallica will rush to the stage and start playing,or was singing along to the tune.A tradition in itself.And Bangalore kept the tradition alive.The tune ended and out came ‘tallicA with a bang.

“CREEPING DEATH”

The opening riffs of “creeping death” sent people in mass hysteria,including me.I don’t know how many seconds i just gaped in awe and screamed/squealed/quivered/raised my fists/jumped before finally accepting that yes,right in front of me were James Hetfield-Kirk Hammett-Lars Ulrich-Robert Trujillo performing.They were playing creeping death and they were right in front of me.As you can see i went again in a trance just replaying that moment in my head.Epicery doesn’t get any bigger than that.I got back in my body,after the out of body experience,and started the first of my fits of headbanging for the night.  “Die Die by my hand” the first of the duets with ‘tallicA had begun.Frenzy it was to best describe it.James i think felt the energy in the air too.He asked us to sing and sing we did,the chorus.And then Kirk’s solo.This was too much.I headbanged very violently,pinched myself to really let it all sink in as the song was nearing its end.When it did James said ‘Bangalore! Metallica is with you..Are you with me !!!!?’ I think he got his answer with the deafening YEAAAAAAHH.

‘FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLS”

The screen focus shifts to Robert Trujillo.He breaks into an impromptu solo improvisation.I think we all have seen this many times in all the ‘tallicA videos and  know what its gonna be next.But it really sinks in only when he plays that magical montrsous riff to ‘For whom the bell tolls’.I screamed.I screamed my lungs out.I should make it clear that theres no point sayin about what we sang in every song.Trust me people sang everything in every song !! Lyrics,Aye Aye chants,Riffs,Solos..you name it,someone did it !! So needless to say we sang the chorus parts that we were meant to .. J This one was as good as ever.It ended in the chaotic chords flying all around as usual.Me gusta,baby.Me super gusta.My biggest expectations were satisfied.I had seen their Rock in Rio 2011 gig from September on TV and saw the amazing vitality return in James voice.And it was right.Hes back roaring like he did in the 80s-90s.Hes back motherfu*kers.

“FUEL”

The song ends and the crowd is wowing about it.The screams and claps and ovation seem to be fueling the band.They stare at the crowds.Wicked grins of satisfaction,love,pride flashing across their faces.Mr.Hetfield takes a pose in front of the mike.People anticipate his saying something.There is a wild electricity in the air.And he would increase it tenfold,thousand fold.He starts “Gimme Fuel Gimme Fire Gimme that which i desire” and BANG ! The whole stage throws up giant fireballs ! This makes me and,i know everyone else,go berserk.FUEEEEEEL !!!!!! My first MetallicA song ever !! Being played live in front of me !! Kickass..I shed a tear,i kid you not.The whole song was sung by us,as usual.What a spectacular solo ! The best part was when all 50000+ of us shouted “OOOOOOH YEAAAAAH-EHHH” with Sir James Alan Hetfield in the middle section of the song.Thank You Metallica. Thank You.

“RIDE THE LIGHTNING”

James tells us we are healthy,safe and it makes them happy.He taunts us about how much do we like their older stuff.This is enough to make everyone go wild with guesses.If thats not enough he asks us to be ready to kick some ass.And then Mr.Kirk ‘The Ripper’ Hammett plays the golden riffs to RIDE THE LIGHTNING.Baapness personified as usual.If ever there was a band thats the best at concerts,it has to be MetallicA,except for their crisis stage when James damaged his vocal cords,i guess. I think the fans too now have started embracing them back after leaving them once just because they broadened their musical directions.MetallicA and their fans-we are the best.
The song ends and James introduces us to Kirk’The Ripper’Hammett,not that we need that,but we know this means hes gonna play us a solo.He plays a mindnumbing quickie with hints of maiden,which gets the rabid fans ecstatic as usual.And then lights go off.



“FADE TO BLACK”

The lights go out.Is this the cue for ‘nothing else matters’ ? Will we hear the opening war sounds of ‘one’ ? People are wondering,screaming and suddenly light appears on the higher stage.We can see Mr.Hetfield with two guitars up there.Screams return.And he starts with that iconic intro.FADE TO BLACK.Needless to say this is one of their best songs EVER.Everyone knows what to do and we sing the intro in unison.We worship the madness.Kirk played that awesome solo perfectly.I tried calling my brother and friends,but my phone dint have any network.I wished they were all here.
.
“CYANIDE”

Fade To Black was followed by a mighty ovation.Claps.Fists.Screams.Roars.We love yous.James plays around askin where we were and how we were and how they had ONLY just begun J He asks if we have their last album DEATH MAGNETIC..We YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH to it.He asks if we would enjoy if they played from it.YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH again.He tells us this would be something where he would need us  *Metallica Family India* to help them with.Another deafening roar.They play “Cyanide”. J J The lighting on this song was kickass..I fell in love with the song all over again.A mosh pit forms around me and before i realise i’m pushed in.Well,I say,fuck it and join in.I enjoyed moshing to this one.Wild headbanging.Its slowly sinking in that yes,we are here.Metallicas playing and we are gonna give it all to make this the most memorable tour for them.

“THE MEMORY REMAINS”

After CYANIDE James and Gang are very satisfied.Or so it seems.They are all smiles and Mr.Hetfield says something that gets a resounding roar.He says there will be a contest between US and the PA on the next song.He needed us to sing as loud as we could on this next one.This means the song that i have dreamt of singing along to with Metallica ? I wonder.I know.I quiver.I sweat.But i know,this is gonna be it.And yes it was. “Fortune Fame Mirror Vain Gone Insane But the Memory Remains” .Holy shit !! Holy shit !! This song was so so so so so epic !! I cant describe the atmosphere of this one no matter how much hard I try ! Trust me ,we won vs the PA especially when the chorus started.Ra Ra Ra Ra,Ra Ra Ra ,Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra..I went totally wild on this one.I started running around in circles in as much space as i could.Jumping about.All the time keeping my promise and singing along.And that solo !!!!! This song was the one where something extraordinary happened.They played,we went crazy,it ended,but we dint.The band stopped playin,but we kept singing the chorus for about 2 minutes or more.I know James Hetfield was the one having goosebumps now.I could see it on the screen,see it on his face.The band was grateful,happy,proud and pumping fists now.James acknowledged this epicery with a “You’re beautiful Bangalore” and the look on his face said it all.And we followed it with two more rounds of the Ra Ra Ra Ra,Ra Ra Ra ,Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra..Metallica,We Love You,baby.


“SANITARIUM”

This is one song i always wanted them to play,but was not too hopeful of them playing this.The opening riff played and it was enough for us fanatics to know what it meant.James did a great thing here and went to the farthest part of the stage on the left side to sing this.He was literally right in front of the crowd now.They played this one to the hilt.Pitch perfect,well all the songs tonight were played pitch perfect J J. "Sanitarium, leave me be Sanitarium, just leave me alone" A lot of “Aye Aye”s and ripping solos.

“SAD BUT TRUE”

James Hetfield said how his friends had always told him that once you go to India,you’re changed forever.He said,India,this,tonight,has changed us forever.We replicated the same feelings with a resounding YEAAAAAHHHHHHHH.When the cheers drowned,he told us he was told we like our music heavy.”INDIA DO YOU LIKE YOUR MUSIC HEAVY?”  We say the obvious YEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..I have a lump in my throat.I have seen videos of many of their gigs and i know what this question means.I try to hold my nerves as i expect that mad mad mad riff.And James says “ THEN I GIVE YOU HEAVY” and there it comes..SAD BUT TRUE...... “Hey..Hey I'm your life I'm the one who takes you there..Hey..Hey I'm your life I'm the one who cares..They..They..They betray..I'm your only true friend now..They..They..They'll betray..I'm forever there”  This was such a special song for me during my teens.ADRENALINE RUSH potent enough to make me pass me out.It was sweet sweet sweet to headbang to this one and then do some crazy crabwalks to the solo.Mr.Trujillo kept inspiring for that throughout the gig.Not to fail to mention,Lars Ulrich was in superb form.He wasn’t goofing up anything.Me Gusta.I have been trying to call up so many people and nothing connected.During this song,by divine intervention,my bestie calls me up.Dr.Harpreet Singh heard this one. \m/ The song ends and now we all want one song,we chant it out “MASTER..MASTER”

“ALL NIGHTMARE LONG”

James laughs off the ‘Master” chants.The band plays the opening riffs of the insanely awesome song “All Nightmare Long” from Death Magnetic.We accept it and decide to wait for Master as the mosh pits sprout over everywhere on this one.I think i hurt a guy here,sorry man.Dint see your face flying to my knees.The lights on this one again were awesome,in sync with the heavy riff storm.Crazy Shit man,Crazy Crazy shit. "Cause we hunt you down without mercy..Hunt you down..all nightmare long..Feel us breathe upon your face..Feel us shift,every move we trace..Hunt you down without mercy..Hunt you down all nightmare long, yeah Luck. Runs.Out" The band stops.The crowd roars.A few seconds of ovation and cheering as the band start playing after an epic pause.Too Good.Too Good.As this song ends,once again the chants of “MASTER..MASTER” are on.Kirk gives a wicked grin and the lights go out.We now know what this fuckin means,don’t we ?


“ONE”

The lights go out,the screams and howls come in.And the speakers start blasting the war sounds of ‘ONE’.It goes on for about 2 minutes.Insane.How can i describe that feeling ? I feel the blood rushing back to my numb neck and head now.And there he is.James is again on the higher stage,and he plays that intro...”ooooo ooooooooooo” This crowd was singing on this one louder,screaming the lungs out again.They played it so good..soooo gooood..And then the part came..I knew,i anticipated,i was ready..The machinegun riffs and drums came and bang,a thousand moshpits must have erupted..I wish they had taken aerial shots of the most pits..the violence was simply BEAUTIFUL..I  let myself get slammed as i stayed in the centre of the pit on this one..Boy this felt good.. "Darkness imprisoning me,all that I see,absolute horror, I cannot live,I cannot die,trapped in myself,body my holding cell, landmine has taken my sight,taken my speech,taken my hearing,taken my arms,taken my legs ,taken my soul,left me with life in hell" and that solo i have heard on my cassettes,mp3 players,tv,computer so many times,Kirk played that solo right in front of me..I ask you all those who were not here,why couldn’t you ? Metallica is better than ever,this performance was as good as the ones we grew up watching on,eg Live Shit DVDs.The song ends and the band and the fans both enjoy the moment.

“MASTER OF PUPPETS”

The thunderous roaring has begun.Metallica played ONE as good as they might and we all knew it.Someone started chanting “We LOVE YOU”.Someone started chanting “THANK YOU”.Someone started chanting “METALLICA METALLICA”. And a few of us knew and started chanting “ MASTER MASTER MASTER MASTER..The moment had arrived..And they played their magnum opus..God,that riff,and the way we went crazy to that !! I seriously hope the screen vid of this gig get leaked,like so many of MetallicAs recent gigs have leaked..Please God Please..      “Master of puppets I'm pulling your strings,Twisting your mind and smashing your dreams,Blinded by me, you can't see a thing Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream..Master Master..Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream  Master Master"..................................................................................................................James says ‘TOGETHER’ and we obey the Master : Singing to the interlude was another dream,Thank you Metallica,Thank You.....The intro,the interlude,the reprise,the solos – everything of this was monstrous..It really sunk in that i was moshing to the great MASTER of PUPPETS only when James did his trademark laughter at the end of the song.Now i only wait for one song,i know what rest they will do,if only that one song would be played,i would scream my happiness out..and the Gods hear my pleas.

“BLACKENED”

Master Of Puppets epic performance has left everyone hystrerical.The band goes offstage.I pray that this be it.Ever felt this thing ? You wildly anticipate something,you pray for it,but theres only an outward chance it will happen as the probability for all the possibilities is equal ? Something of that sort happened for me..They went offstage and the intro of BLACKENED played..My prayers were answered,and had someone asked me if i was happy,i would have wept then..Some retard in front of me screamed “OMG AND JUSTICED FOR ALL” NOOOOOO MOFO..ITS BLACKENED..Wait a min now..Wait a fu*kin min !!!! The intro gets over and they start playin the riffs to ''Battery" !!? One round of that,everyones confused and then the boys play the riffs to "Blackened"..Cheeky Bas*ards..I had a dry throat there for a moment.. :') The whole song was a riot..RIOT..I summoned all of my strengths and started headbanging maniacally.Thats when i realised,i should have peed earlier.But i thought the fuck with the full bladder.I was not gonna let it ruin BLACKENED.The whole stage spewed fireballs like in FUEL,but this time 5-6 times during the song.SWEET.. " Opposition, contradiction, premonition, compromise Agitation, violation, mutilation, planet dies..Darkest color ,Blistered earth ,True death of life..Termination, expiration, cancellation, human race Expectation, liberation, population laid to waste..See our mother,Put to death..See our mother die" And the moment i have begun to love arrived..James screamed along with the guitar as Kirk Hammered us with those blazing solos..James literally growled here..Me Gusta Magnificado..




“NOTHIN ELSE MATTERS”

The violent thrashfest of BLACKENED  ends with the band leaving us Kirk ‘The Ripper’Hammet on stage..He plays another solo..a melodic one this time..and amidst cheers it ends with the beginning of the biggest rock anthem ever..NOTHING ELSE MATTERS..No need to emphasize on how much this song was appreciated..everyone sang,everyone saluted,everyone cried *tears of joy*..James goes down on the stage during the solo..I fuckkiin know what this means..Why am i the only one who has done his homework,i wonder ?!!!! I know the sandmans coming next !!!! ..James is on his knees..the screen shows his guitar..he shows his pick,and then he shows the horns..ppl react to it with  YEAAAAHS..

“ENTER SANDMAN”

I screamed HOLY MOTHERFU*KIN SHIT..ITS ENTER SANDMAN TIME..no one pays heed,as if i’m just a random drunk beardo K ..in a moment,James plays the riff and the whole arena erupts..I forgive them and go crazy for what Metallica bashers call their pop song,and every metallica fan calls the ultimate song to see them perform..JUMP JUMP JUMP JUMP..And then there were the fireworks J J J J J EXIT LIGHT ENTER NIGHT – the stage and arena lights go full on and it all went so bright !! Kirks solo was WAH WAH,i bet you know what i mean..The song ends,Metallica gives us strange looks..We know its all over now..innit ? James says OH YEAH,we reply Yeah..This goes on for three times,each time getting a bigger response..Classic MetallicA crowd play..They reprise the song again for a session of jumping..yus yus yus \m/..The song ends,MetallicA bows..Mr.Hetfield says the unacceptable “Thank You Bangalore!!   You make us feel Good!! We love you all..Good Night“ And they’re off stage..

“ENCORES”

Dammit..I was not gonna let them go away..WE WANT MORE..WE WANT MORE..WE WANT MORE..WE WANT MORE..This catches on..
A lot of groups have started chanting..WE WANT MORE..WE WANT MORE..
NO response from the band..

Suddenly The opening riffs of  THE FRAYED ENDS OF SANITY..
OMG OMG OMG..
They haven’t played this like in ages,let alone as an encore..Then the band appears..They progress it to an impromptu funky kickass jam..The Indians are WILD by now..
METALLICAS DOIN A SPECIAL THING RIGHT HERE IN BANGALORE FOR THE CROWD THAT HAS WAITED FOR THEM FOR SO LONG..
Pretty appreciated..

James comes up,gives his HAHAHAHAHA and smiles and says “Ok we have reached a part where we cover one of our heroes who inspired us back when we were *little girls*-YEAH THATS RIGHT-and pay them respect..And tonight its Diamondhead” :)
This is enough..Beloved Moshpits are back for better..The song sounds so much more evil live..AM I EVIL ? YES I AM.....Kickass..
Now the mindboggling feat was that they transitioned into BATTERY from AM I EVIL,without a pause.. James just went "Should we Keep Goin????" YEAAAAAHHHH... and BOY THAT WAS DELICIOUS..Mosh heaven..This was so so so so so BADASS..I know all of us were praying that this goes on forever and ever..But it had to end..
And Metallica left the stage again..James “Thank you very much Bangalore!!!! We Thank you from Metallica..Metallica loves you”
A few idiots start weeping  “ WE LOVE YOU WE LOVE YOU”
NO MAN NOT YET..We still need SEEK AND DESTRAIYYA..
The Tougher ones keep their calm and demand “ WE WANT MORE WE WANT MORE” and “ SEEK AND DESTROY,SEEK AND DESTROY”..
This time James taunts the shit out of us..
First hes tired,
then its too late,
then his guitars gone,
then the roadie returns,
then he puts it on,
then he gives it back,
then he takes it back again,
then he gives it back again..
All the while makin us gasp in sorrow and squeal with delight intermittently..
Nasty Devil saala..
The roadie finally takes away his guitar,and a few start screaming NO NO NO NO NO,a few boo,a few hiss..
And Mr.Hetfield kept on laughing.

INDIA,BANGALORE,YOU JUST WONT LET US LEAVE,WOULD YOU?
NO JAMES,WE HAVE WAITED A LONG TIME FOR YOU AND WONT LET YOU GO SO EASY..
He pretty much sums up everyones feelings with his monologue..
Then out came yet another roadie,another guitar and this one he picked up and said “One more for you Bangalore”..

The band were back..

How much have i waited to hear these words ?
The wait was damn worth it..

James puts his guitar on and says the standard : “OK CAN WE HAVE ALL THE HOUSE LIGHTS ON ? WE WANNA SEE OUR FAMILY...NOW,INDIA,WE ARE METALLICA FAMILY AND METALLICA NEEDS YOU ON THIS ONE..GO AS MOTHERFU*KIN CRAZY AS YOU WANT TO ON THIS ONE..GO AS LOUD AS YOU CAN..THIS SONG IS FROM OUR ALBUM KILL ‘EM ALL AND ITS CALLED SEEEEEEK-AND-DESTROOYYYYY” 

God!! This song is the best one to end up the amazing day with !! The epic riff-fest starts and we match it up with moshing,headbanging,screaming,saluting..
A lot of people are putting their girlfriends on their shoulders to capture the madness in their memories forever..A truly magical moment..Amazingly loud “Seek and Destroy” choruses from the crowd..I think all of us lost our voices screaming at James’ cue to the epic chorus.
But..it ends soon..
The craziness is over just like that..
Just in 8-9 minutes..
I wanted it to last forever..
The performance was epic,the moshing was epic,but the song ended just like that..A part of me wanted them to jam along to the song forever and ever..
All the screaming was still ringing in my ears.

Suddenly i hear the crowd behind me moving,someone yellin “lets move lets move or else we wont get a rick” I don’t wanna move,yet i’m pushed along..

On the way out i found a place and anchored myself there.I aint missing any of this.
James returns and says “ Bangalore you kick ass,We love You”..
Haha,big mistake James..
The crowd responds with the loudest “We Love YOU”s of the day..
Those went on for like forever..
Finally,I could see Kirk take on the mike.
The band had just bowed down.
Kirk said  ‘Bangalore,you motherfu*kers rock’..ROAAAAAR..
Gorillaman Trujillo came and said his standard‘ Aribba Arabba GROWL” we replicated it J. Lars said ‘’Why did we take this fu*kin long to come here ? Am i the only one here whos thinkin Metallica needs to come here more often ?’’
Lars made us happy.Lars made us happy finally.
Then the band threw some picks and equipment for the lucky ones upfront.
And the last one was the trademark pose and clap of Mister Hetfield Sir.

WOW.

I have just been to my first Metallica concert,and its better than all of their gigs i have ever seen on TV.I’m gonna see them again,no matter what,I promise meself.

The way out was difficult.The pain in my legs and neck finally resurfaces.The whole ground was muddy because of the rains and the crowd was impatient to leave..I guess everyone was tired.
I  finally had some water.And saw the directions to the restrooms..Finally K..

I was lucky enough to grab a cab and was on my way back to my room.I lit up the remaining fag,lamenting my temporary relapse to smokes and then I blamed MetallicA for bringing it on me and….
But I stuck at Metallica..
I went into a daze,which i still go back to everytime I think of 30 Oct 2011.

The day i saw MetallicA.

The best Sunday ever !!

Saturday 3 September 2011

Soliloquy

Am i confused ?
I'm confused.
No,i'm not lost.



I think i see things clearly,but the more i see things clearly,the more it poses questions and the more lateral flow of thoughts,the more the confusion.

So i'm confused.Not in the conventional sense.
Its just the answers to my humbug question are not humbug.I hope i remember that.

And the question is : Is it ok to dream and have ambitions ?
Dreams that are not related to materialistic assets.Dreams that are not about making it larger than life.But dreams about those things that i......

From what i remember,since when i remember,we are always told to be focused.To be concentrated.To be sharp.To have a goal and to trot towards them goals.
Hmmm.True things.Whats a life without focus,indeed.
And grab opportunities like lions and make the most of everything.Paisa rules.


But,my dilemma is,the more i brood,the more i introspect,wicked mind wont agree.I somehow dont wanna earn only money.I dont wanna run behind fames and fortunes.It sounds lame to my head no matter how many times i show myself pictures of Warren Buffet,Bill Gates and A.Raja.
I mean,i cant understand wats the fuss,wat the big damned fuss about being focused on the career and money making is all about.

What i want to focus is on what i wanted to do when i was in 7th standard and thought of how i would live when i was 26.The only thing i'm doing from what i dreamed then is have an MBBS degree.Everything else is nowhere to be seen.



I know,my restlessness-wavering ideas,its not gonna get me one lakh a day,or get me patients from Chennai or Chile or China ,but i dont want to be that.I want to be just a Doctor who treats his patients,gets paid when they can,gets blessed when they cant.I think that if i do that,i can stay focused on what i yearn.And what i yearn is what i wanted to do  when i was in 7th standard and thought of how i would live when i was 26.

What i wanted to do  when i was in 7th standard and thought of how i would live when i was 26 was a lot.
I wanted to be travelling once a month,i wanted to be cycling,i wanted to be swimming,i wanted to be singing.
I wanted to learn the guitar,i wanted to further my born talents with the piano,i wanted to be owned by a puppy and i wanted to grow a beard.



The only thing i'm doing is stressing myself over faults-mines and theirs , and otherwise throwing myself in the same race,behind the same crowds.
I mean i aint no hippie anymore.I understand a man has certain obligations and needs to perform certain duties.But at what cost ?

All i'm doing from the dream is just the MBBS and a beard since a week.

When i think back after 5 years,will i be happy that i dint do what i wanted to do  when i was in 7th standard and thought of how i would live when i was 26 ? No,i dont think so.
And thats wats been itching since a while.
The wrong part was i ended up dreaming more about how good were the days when i was able to do what i wanted to do.I went all nostalgic gothic and what not.

A Goth
And i realized whats wrong about that is that those were the days when i could only dream.Today i can make my dreams come true,and thats ALL IN MY HANDS.Nobody can and/or is stopping me.All i need to do is juggle my priorities and win the race with myself.So getting nostalgic is not right.Believing in yourself is.I have been a rebel without a cause forever and ever.Now i should just as well channel it for the inner bliss.

And that is why i was feeling confused.Thats why i'm confused.
The solutions to all of lifes problems are simple.Whats not simple are the ways we complicate things.



Friday 2 September 2011

Les Jours Tristes




It's hard,
hard, to stand up for what's right
and bring home the bacon each night,
hard, not to break down and cry,
when every idea that you tried
has been wrong.
But you must
carry on.

It's hard,
but you know it's worth the fight,
cause you know you've got the truth on your side,
when the accusations fly.
Hold tight!
Don't be afraid of what they'll say.
Who cares what cowards think? Anyway,
They will understand some day,
some day.

It's hard,
hard, when you're here all alone
and everyone else's gone home.
Harder to know right from wrong
when all objectivity's gone
and it's gone.
But you still
carry on.

â'cause you,
you are the only one left
and you've got to clean up this mess.
You know you'll end up like the rest
Bitter and twisted - unless
you stay strong
And you
carry on.

It's hard,
but you know it's worth the fight,
cause you know you've got the truth on your side,
when the accusations fly.
Hold tight!
Don't be afraid of what they'll say.
Who cares what cowards think? Anyway,
They will understand some day,
some day.


I was just minding my own business,studyin etc,and the music player threw this song on my face.I'm just freaked out how Mr.Yann Tiersen has written me a song.Adressess my innermost secrets,my innermost fears,my innermost doubts.Its as if hes talking to me.Geez.Yep,i'm freaked out.

Tuesday 5 July 2011

Another day,Another start

So its all finalised now,i'm not getting a seat that i want this year for post-graduation and so i have to study again for the exams.As hard as i tried,i didnt quite deliver to myself and so i think i have to outdo myself again.
Luckily the last few months,although hectic,have helped so much to divert my attention from the harrowing flashbacks.
So from tomorrow its back to books and heres to a positive start.Found some nice words on someones FB page (not the best of places to get inspiration from,but i got lucky).




"The only one who can tell you 'you can't ' is you. And you don't have to listen."

Sooner or later, you start taking yourself seriously. You know when you need a break. You know when you need a rest. You know what to get worked up about and what to get rid of. And you know when it's time to take care of yourself, for yourself. To do something that makes you stronger, faster, more complete. Because you know it's never too late to have a life. And never too late to change one.